I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
