covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just threw up on my dentist
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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