just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize