All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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