Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well I just put wine in my tea
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
