I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Still dying that you shit outside
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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