If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
