I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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