fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
