Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
