you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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