I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
