just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
