I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
