he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
