my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize