Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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