How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
