So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
