I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
