It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
