do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
