addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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