Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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