I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
