So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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