yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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