Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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