i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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