I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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