Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
