No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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