Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
