hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
