Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
