Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
