I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Go christen that room with your naked body.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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