How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Randomize
