bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
