Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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