Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
