3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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