just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
