You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
