google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
