What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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