i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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