I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
