it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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