I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
