lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize