apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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