guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
