i jhust puked up my retainher.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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