you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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