"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize