Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize