I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
