Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
