How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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