I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
