my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
