So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm really busy with my period
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