i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Randomize
