Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
