Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
