This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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