Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
