addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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