I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
