3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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