Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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