and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize