she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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