i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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