This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize