I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
