69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
