If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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