gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
