There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
